I ‘m Melanie Bonk…
Relationships are life’s greatest classrooms – they can be sources of bliss, safety, love, and passion. Yet few examples exist of authentic loving, thriving, supportive, sexually active power-couples to show us how to navigate these waters.
That’s where I come in. As a sex coach and relationship expert, I’ve dedicated my practice to teaching individuals and couples the tools they need for a lifetime of bliss, harmony, FUN and, of course, the most mind-bending epic sex possible!
My approach is like couples therapy in its depth and care, but it goes so much further, blending somatic wisdom, spiritual-sexual tantric connection, communication techniques, and embodied play to create real, lasting transformation for you and your partner.
It’s literally in my name – I’ll help you…
Divorce was all around me, woven into the fabric of my family well before I was a bouncing babe. My grandfather walked out on my grandmother and three kids, leaving my mom, in her formative years, to raise her younger siblings while my amazingly hard-working grandmother provided for the family. Divorce, still fairly uncommon in the 1960s, left a stigma of shame on any single mother. That stigma trickled down to my mom, who was the only kid in her elementary school with divorced parents.
The legacy continued. My parents divorced in the 80s. I grew up surrounded by an undercurrent of betrayal and pain, often caught in the crossfire of my parents’ battles. Conscious co-parenting wasn’t a thing. Safe communication wasn’t either. But even as a child, I felt the deep cost of disconnection, and somewhere in my bones, I knew:
I would do love differently.
Over 25 years ago, I met my husband and chose to rewrite the story.
What I desired was a relationship built on mutual respect, deep compassion, soulful intimacy—and let’s be real, epic, F^CK YES pleasure.
We didn’t know it then, but together we began creating what would become our sacred, conscious partnership. We worked through our wounds, challenged our conditioning, and awakened to the truth of who we are—individually and together. That’s the love I live and breathe today.
And now, I guide others to create it too.
I’m a VITA™ Certified Sex, Love, & Relationship Coach and Somatic Trauma Therapist. I help couples create divorce-proof partnerships rooted in emotional safety, soulful communication, and sexual rediscovery. My work blends modern neuroscience with ancient tantric wisdom, somatic therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and the lived wisdom of my own long-term, passionate marriage.
With a trauma-informed, heart-centered, sex-positive approach, I co-create safe, sacred spaces for couples to explore, heal, and expand. We dissolve shame. We unpack societal and familial imprints around sex and relationships. We co-create new ways of relating—ones that feel wildly authentic, deeply pleasurable, and uniquely your own.
Whether you’re on a solo journey of reclamation or navigating love with a long-time partner, I’m here to remind you: your love story is yours to write. And pleasure? Pleasure is the ink.
I first fell in love with coaching over a decade ago as a CrossFit® coach—but I craved more. I wanted to go deeper, beyond physical strength, into the heart and soul of what truly transforms people from the inside out. After years of being the go-to person for relationship advice among my friends and family, I followed the call and enrolled in the VITA™ Institute – Layla Martin’s world-renowned certification program for sex, love, and relationship coaching.
After 650+ hours of live trainings, lectures, workshops ranging in topics from LGBTQ+, Anti-Racism, Trauma, Stress-Cycles and Emotional Responses to Pelvic Floor Anatomy and over 75 hours of supervised practicum work including a deep dive into modern neuroscience to understand how the brain works and how our nervous system reacts, responds and retains our pleasures for survival sake (major cosmic design flaw), I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned!
This wasn’t your average training. Over 650+ hours of live instruction, lectures, and workshops took me into the depths of human connection—from LGBTQ+ inclusion, anti-racism, trauma and emotional processing, to pelvic floor anatomy and the brilliant, sometimes maddening, wiring of our nervous systems.
I completed over 75 hours of supervised practicum work, plus a deep dive into modern neuroscience to understand how the brain stores trauma, how stress cycles move through us, and how our nervous systems hold onto pleasure for survival…
and sometimes, deny us access to it entirely. (Cosmic design flaw? Maybe. Sacred invitation? Definitely.) I also spent over 600 hours meditating and masturbating to untangle my nervous system, shake off old conditioning, and heal some deep stuff — what a wild, sexy ride!
Now, I’m here to share it all—with heart, humor, and an unwavering belief in your power to reclaim radical self-love, deep emotional intimacy, and mind-blowing pleasure.
An underlying foundation of the VITA™ Method is the belief that sexuality is part of the whole and can be embraced as a natural and beautiful energy and expression of all humans. Because of this, we use holistic tools that take into consideration your entire sexual ecosystem, opening up a magical world that was completely unavailable before.
We also recognize that the body has an energy system and we work with energy to systematically liberate and awaken the natural state of flow within us.”
I continued my deep dive into relationships with courses and private trainings from human relationship expert, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Esther Perel.
After a few years of guiding clients through sexual empowerment, two things became crystal clear: somatic healing is my true passion, and every person carries some form of trauma in their body.
To deepen my expertise, I trained directly with
Dr. Peter Lavine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing®,
Dr. Scott Lyons, developer of
Somatic Stress Release™,
a holistic process of restoring biological resilience, taught in over 20 countries,
Dr. Gabor Maté, creator of a psychotherapeutic approach,
Compassionate Inquiry, and
Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score,
earning a certificate in Somatic Trauma Therapy from the Embody Lab.
“The body remembers what the mind forgets; it is through somatic experiencing that we can access and release stored traumatic memories”
– Dr. Peter Lavine
While traditional cognitive therapy focuses on thoughts and thinking, my work is about co-creating safety so clients can step out of their heads and into their bodies—where trauma actually lives and influences subconscious patterns. Together, we learn to befriend trauma and transform it into a source of empowerment. I deeply believe that our bodies hold both the wounds and our unique medicine and magic.
Ready to get started? Check out our upcoming events and Bonk Better Date Night.
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Sacred meets science.
Pleasure meets power.
